the word’s worth: Hats off to all things disgusting and dull

By Michele A. Berdy

Published: June 27, 2012 (Issue # 1715)

Øëÿïà: hat; something bad, unpleasant, disgusting, worthless (slang)

It’s time for our weekly language pop quiz: What do the Russian words for hat and dullness have in common? No idea? Let me put it another way: Have you talked to a teenager lately?

If you have, you’ve definitely heard øëÿïà (hat) and òóïî (dully) a lot. But you might have been confused. In standard literary Russian — that is, the Russian that is described in dictionaries — hats do not usually appear on plates and dully is generally not used four times in a sentence before every verb.

Welcome to the new crop of slang.

Let’s start with hats. Øëÿïà is any kind of brimmed hat. Ñíèìàòü øëÿïó (to take off your hat) is what you do metaphorically before someone you admire. Äåëî â øëÿïå (it’s in the bag) is what you say when you clinch a deal. If you are an older or bookish sort of person, you might use øëÿïà to describe a weak-willed and slow-moving person.

Today, øëÿïà is used to describe a variety of situations and things that are unpleasant or not worthy of attention. When you place a plate of fried liver in front of your child, she might announce: ß íå áóäó åñòü ýòó øëÿïó! (I’m not going to eat that yucky stuff; literally “I’m not going to eat that hat”).

When you leave a movie theater, your teen might say derisively: Ýòî íå êèíî, à øëÿïà êàêàÿ-òî (What a waste of money!)

When your teen borrows his father’s camera without permission and drops it, he might exclaim: Âîò ýòî øëÿïà! (Now I’m in trouble!).

Or when the smartphone he saved up for turns out to be defective, he might growl: Íó è øëÿïà (What a piece of crap!)

In literary Russian, the noun òóïîñòü, adjective òóïîé and adverb òóïî describe something that is dull or someone who is dim-witted — someone who is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

You might use òóïîé to describe a cutting edge that has dulled, like òóïàÿ ïèëà (dull saw) or the noncutting edge of something, like òóïàÿ ñòîðîíà íîæà (the spine of a knife).

When applied to people and their actions, it is a particularly contemptuous accusation of stupidity. Äî ÷åãî îí òóïîé (Can you believe how dumb he is?)

You might use òóïîé or òóïî to describe some action that is done without comprehension: Îí òóïî ñìîòðåë íà ðàçáèòóþ âàçó (He stared dumbly at the broken vase).

Or to mean something done mechanically, unthinkingly: Îíà òóïî ïåðåâåëà äîñëîâíî (She mechanically translated it word for word).

Or you might use it to describe total submission, something done seemingly without individual will: Îí å¸ òóïî ëþáèë (He loved her blindly).

Today everything is òóïî. Sometimes it is used as a synonym for ïðîñòî (simply): ß òóïî õîòåë åñòü (I just wanted something to eat). Òóïî ïîçâîíè åìó (Just call him). But most of the time, it’s just another one of those parasitic words that occasionally sweep in and take over Russian. It doesn’t seem to be an intensifier or qualifier. It’s just a verbal tick. Ìíå òóïî íå÷åãî äåëàòü (I, like, don’t have anything to do.) Ìû òóïî ïîøëè â êèíî (We, like, went to the movies.) Òóïî áëèí! (Real bad!)

All I can say is: Êàêàÿ øëÿïà!

Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of “The Russian Word’s Worth” (Glas), a collection of her columns.