Chris Floyd's Global Eye

Published: December 18, 2001 (Issue # 731)

Smoking Gun.

"If it were done, when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly."

- Shakespeare's Macbeth,
plotting murder.

Like everyone else in the world, we here at the Global Eye were shocked and horrified last week by the release of damning material that confirmed the complicity of terrorist leaders in the deaths of thousands of innocent people.

We refer, of course, to the release of declassified documents showing that U.S. President Gerald Ford and Secretary of State Henry Kissinger gave their O.K. to Indonesia's invasion of East Timor in 1975 - an act of "state-sponsored terrorism" that killed more than 200,000 people. The documents were obtained through the Freedom of Information Act - in June, before George W. Bush gutted the law - but only reported last week by the Washington Post.

Kissinger and Ford had long denied any prior knowledge of the murderous assault, even though they'd been feasting with the genocidal Indonesian tyrant Suharto the day before the troops went in. However, in a secret State Department cable, Ford and Kissinger actually told Suharto before the attack that "we understand the problem you have and the intentions you have" and "we will not press you on the issue."

Kissinger, ever mindful of the media angle, added in another love note: "We understand your problem and the need to move quickly, but I am only saying that it would be better if it were done after we returned."

The murders were carried out with U.S. weaponry. Congress had restricted their use to defensive purposes only, but Kissinger blithely brushed this aside, assuring Suharto that America would "construe" the invasion as "self-defense rather than a foreign operation." Kinda like Hitler did with Poland.

Naturally, this story was buried by the usual bull-roaring of Bush praise in the media. In fact, in the same issue of the Post in which it appeared, you might've been diverted from its revelations by a fascinating piece on the editorial page, a long disquisition on the new ordering of the world, penned by one of our most revered elder statesmen: Henry Kissinger.

Blood of the Lamb

"You cannot serve both God and Mammon."

- Jesus of Nazareth,
Koranic prophet and founder of Christianity, from The Gospel According to Matthew.

Who says? Why, wherever fundamentalists frolic, funny money is sure to follow. Take, for example, those two birds of a zealous feather, the Reverend (sic) Pat Robertson and holy (sic) warrior Osama bin Laden.

These pampered sons of privilege - Ozzie the offspring of a Saudi merchant prince; Patty the spermic spawn of a U.S. senator - have long been nose-to-nose in the same African trough, gobbling up bloodstained cash to fund their "faith-based organizations" under the benevolent eye of a shared patron: Liberian strongman Charles Taylor.

The Washington Post reports that, before the recent unpleasantness in Afghanistan, Ozzie was reaping millions from the illicit trade in African diamonds. The rocks are sold at bargain prices by rebel forces in Sierra Leone, led by Taylor protege Foday Sankoh, whose Liberian-backed gang of marauders has terrorized the nation for years. Ozzie then re-sold Foday's stolen gems at a huge markup to European dealers.

Ozzie's diamond dealers operate out of Monrovia, the capital of - you guessed it - Liberia. That's where the actual transactions take place, in a safe house protected by Taylor's security forces. Naturally, Chuck takes his cut - a cool 10 percent, his standard slice of all business operations in Liberia.

Now enter Pious Pat - founder of the Christian (sic) Coalition, healer of goiters over the airwaves, belcher of virulent anti-Semitic filth, panting obsessor over homosexuality, and political partner of the anointed, appointed fundamentalist president (sic) of the United States. Robertson once dabbled in "blood diamonds" himself, shacking up with that old mass murderer, Mobutu Sese Soko, to mine gems in Zaire. But when the Lord called Mobutu to be a sunbeam in Heaven, Pat found a new best buddy: Taylor.

Leaving diamonds to his soul brother Osama - and they say there's no honor among thieves! - Pat now concentrates on gold mining. Robertson's "Freedom Gold Ltd." is a for-profit partnership with Taylor - no need for that "Christian charity" crap when there's real money to be made. In return for Taylor's blessing, Pat uses his Christian (sic) Broadcasting Network to peddle pro-Liberian propaganda in its news (sic) reports. To hear CBN tell it, there's no corruption, no repression, no murder, no fomenting of war or trafficking with terrorists going on in Taylor's utopia; it's just a plucky "Christian nation" shining God's light on the Dark Continent.

Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and the U.S. State Department tell a different story, of course - but they're all just a bunch of godless, goiter-ridden Jewish homosexuals anyway, right? They can never understand what men of true fundamentalist faith like Pat and Ozzie and George all know: the cross is a stiletto, the crescent is a scythe - and the Lord helps those who help themselves.

American Pie

We get a goodly amount of mail here at the Global Eye each week - transported by mule team to our secure, undisclosed location.

Some of it's not printable in a family publication, of course - not even one published by Larry Flynt's family.

That's because the majority of these irate interlocutors take exception to the column's calm and dispassionate analysis of the Bush administration and its penetratingly impartial disection of U.S. foreign policy. So, following their Master's highly Christian example, they respond to the tightly reasoned argumentation of the Global Eye with the kind of schoolyard obscenities that he displayed on the campaign trail last year, when he was caught on tape mouthing petulant vulgarities about a reporter he didn't like.

These angry ejaculations are hardly of any intrinsic interest, of course (although some of the spelling and grammar that they manifest deserve attention), but over time it's become clear that many of our more vituperative correspondents believe that the column's author is Russian: a misapprehension that only adds to their Bushian bile. "We don't need no commie losers tearing down our great president, so shut your commie pie hole you dirty commie bastard" is a typical (expurgated) observation.

(For alas, it is still an article of faith among vast multitudes in the American "Homeland" that every Russian is a communist - a mistake no doubt resulting from the same carefully cultivated public ignorance that leads good and decent people to believe that a deeply corrupt elitist mediocrity and his gang of corporate bagmen are great American statesmen doing the work of the Lord.)

Anyway, it occurred to us that we might be contributing in some small way to ill will between nations by not clarifying the author's background. Why should the whole Russian people be forced to shut its pie hole when the offending pie hole actually belongs to another nationality altogether?

Therefore, let us here declare that the author of the Global Eye is in fact a citizen of the United States - as American as apple pie, anthrax and air strikes. His family has been in America since the 1640s; one of them even signed the Declaration of Independence. The author himself was born and raised in the rural South. He is not now nor has he ever been a member of the Communist Party - or the Democratic Party, or the Green Party or indeed of any political or ideological organization whatsoever, with the exception of the First Baptist Church in his old hometown in the "Homeland."

We trust most sincerely that this will satisfy all those slavish devotees of the Dear Leader who seem congenitally unable to grasp the fact that a down-home, red-blooded, common-as-dirt fellow American could find fault with that faux-Texas jackanapes now strutting and fretting his hour upon the world stage.