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My Resolutions for 2014

Published: January 17, 2014 (Issue # 1793)


Зарок: pledge, vow.

Every year, like millions of my compatriots, I make New Year's resolutions, and every year, like millions of my compatriots, I fail to achieve them. But I'm never the least bit disconcerted to write "lose weight and get fit" for the 35th year in a row. If you want a textbook example of belief over reason, check out my annual resolution list.

New Year's resolutions are largely an American thing. Russians don't make them. I think this is because personal agency — the ability to achieve what one sets out to achieve — has been problematic in Russia for the last millennium or so: Tatars, tsars, wars and general secretaries got in the way. But also because Russians, by and large, don't buy into the whole "I can reinvent myself" belief that is the basis of American culture.

And so, resolutions defy graceful translation. They might be called новогодние обещания (New Year's promises); обещания, данные самому себе (promises to oneself); цели, поставленные на новый год (goals set for the new year); or the rather lofty sounding новогодние зароки (New Year's pledges). That said, my local fitness club was packed on a weekday afternoon, and the attendant said: Ждите месяц. Рассосётся. (Wait a month. The crowds will thin out.) From this I infer: Resolutions may be nation-­specific, but marketing is universal.

In any case, here are some of my linguistic and lifestyle resolutions for 2014.

1. Вид (aspect). Yes, I know I've resolved to master the intricacies of verbal aspect before, but this time I'm serious. I'm starting with я не могу тебя забыть (I can't — imperfective — forget you — perfective) and я не смогу тебя забыть (I will not — perfective — forget you — perfective). So far I've asked 10 native speakers about the differences between these two sentences and why you can't use забывать (imperfective) and gotten 10 different answers. When I get a consensus, I'll let you know.

2. Ударение (stress). Ditto all of the above, except the 10 Russians I asked about stress in words not only have no idea why they place the stress where they do. They don't even put it on the same syllable. I'm going to concentrate on words like сковорода (skillet, stress on last syllable), which is сковороды (stress on first syllable) in the plural. I see the point of this — the shifting stress tells you if one or many skillets are under discussion — although achieving it is another matter. But I'm optimistic. After all, I'm going to lose weight and get fit this year, too.

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ALL ABOUT TOWN

Saturday, Dec. 20


The city’s Babushkina Park on Prospekt Obukhovskoy Oborony will be invaded by dozens of rocking-and-rolling Santa Clauses during today’s Santa Claus Parade. Not only will they parade through the park but there will also be competitions amongst the festively-clad participants and a musical master class. There will also be a prize for the best-dressed Santa Claus.


Add to your record collection during the Vinyl Christmas Sale at the KL10TCH bar on Konyushennaya Ploshchad today. Spend the afternoon perusing the records for sale while listening the classic, clean sound of records spinning out hits from a variety of musical genres and time periods.



Sunday, Dec. 21


The Zenit St. Petersburg basketball team returns to the northern capital this evening for a matchup with Krasny Oktyabr, a Volgograd-based basketball club. Tickets for the game, which tips off at 6 p.m. this evening, can be purchased on the club’s website or at their arena, Sibur Arena, on Krestovsky island.


Satisfy your sugar cravings during Sweet New Year, an ongoing seasonal festival at the Raduga shopping center. Each weekend of December will welcome hungry visitors to taste hundreds of different kinds of desserts made from a plethora of sweet treats. Workshops are open to visitors and seasonal gifts can also be purchased for those rushing to finish their New Year shopping.



Monday, Dec. 22


Pick out the latest fashions as holiday gifts for loved ones or as early presents for yourself during the Christmas Design Sale at Kraft on Obvodny Kanal, starting on Dec. 20 and continuing through Dec. 27. Designer clothes will be on sale every day of the week or you can buy something more festive to decorate the home while sipping on hot coffee and perusing the various master classes.



Tuesday, Dec. 23


Meet Arctic explorers Fedor Konukhov and Viktor Simonov during SPIBA’s and Capital Legal Service’s event “Arctic Expedition” this morning in the Mertens House business center at 21 Nevsky Prospekt. The meeting will discuss the explorers’ ongoing eco-social project and how companies can use the project as a unique marketing opportunity. Email office@spiba.ru by Dec. 22 if you wish to attend.



Wednesday, Dec. 24


The Anglican Church of St. Petersburg we will be holding a Christmas Eve service at 7 p.m. led by Rev Wm. Shepley Curtis of the Episcopal Church. The service will be held at the Swedish Church at 1/3 Malaya Konyushennaya Ulitsa.



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